Perhaps you think this is a rhetorical question.
Ask yourself: When was the last time I apologized to a direct report?
I heard from an eyewitness of an event where a car dealer summoned every employee to the service lane. He then closed the doors and preceded to bless them out with, shall we say, harsh words.
“Any questions?” he asked.
One man raised his hand.
“What?” the dealer snapped.
“Where do I pull in for service?” He was a customer and had been swept accidentally into the meeting.
There were most certainly apologies after that event. Especially since, I’m told, an employee recorded the whole thing on his phone. …
So I’m not talking about that kind of apology for a blatant, public event. (Although it’s obviously needed.)
I’m thinking smaller scale. Perhaps it was a disagreement between you and an employee where you said things you regretted.
Perhaps it was a policy you put in place that you thought would work but hurt instead.
Or perhaps it was a communication that was just not received as you intended it.
In all instances, I think you are better off apologizing. Here are three reasons.
It can restore cut off long-term resentment. Unless they feel really safe, employees aren’t going to tell you how off-putting or hurtful your actions were to them. But they will harbor it. That hurt or fear can come out eventually as anger. At worst, they become resentful and “quit but still receive a paycheck.” You restoring the relationship, allowing them to name the issue, redeems that.
It can increase your legitimacy as a leader. Yes, increase. Nobody is perfect. They know that. And if you come across with a facade of no mistakes … they can see you as fake. Trust decreases unless they can see you be your authentic self. Maybe you’ve heard about the man who came to be known as Gen. “Nuts” McAuliffe. When he received the German demand for surrender at the Battle of the Bulge, he crumped up the letter and said, “Aw, nuts.” His staff loved it and suggested that honest expression of not knowing what todo–“NUTS!”–be turned into the official reply to the Nazis. It became the rallying cry of the battle and helped turn the war. Be yourself.
It can help you sleep at night. Apologizing is a moral act. I will add: It is biblical. Jesus said that, if you know there is something between you and another, you are to leave your offering at the altar and go try to reconcile. This helps you sleep at night–your conscience is clean–and, as Jesus points out, maybe keeps you out of court.
Apologizing truly is a heart issue. It takes humility. I wish you the best as you try to live at peace with your people.