“I can’t work with this person!”
Have you ever found yourself saying this?
What if there were two questions you could ask that would allow you to work with literally anybody?
The basics
In previous posts about the DISC model of behavior styles, I promised that there were two questions that can help you interact and work with others.
A quick recap: I shared that we all have ways of evaluating and interacting with the world that come naturally to us.
When we are forced to use evaluation and interaction styles that do not come naturally to us, it wears us out–overclocks our computers. Learning to adapt to those styles is key.
And in my most recent DISC post, I shared the following chart. For literally thousands of years, humans have sorted those basic styles into four categories. They happened to line up with their view of the four elements that make up the world … the four stages of life … the four seasons … and the four bodily fluids known as “humors.”
Different = Different
You can read about those connections in the previous post. Here is a summary:
Some people are wet, just like buttermilk in flour. They draw people together.
Some people are dry, just like flour. They naturally separate from others.
Some people are hot, like steam. They naturally have energy to change situations and take action.
Some people are cold, like ice. They naturally create structure and stability.
So to the ancients, someone who is naturally “hot” and “dry” would be like fire. They might come across as assertive and more focused on the problem than the person.
It’s not good or bad. It’s just different from others–say, a person who is “wet” and “cold” like water. They might come across as adaptable and people-focused.
Different isn’t good or bad. It’s just different.
Using modern words
Now let’s move on from those ancient descriptions and put them into modern language around human behaviors.
| Dominant | Active | Influential |
| Questioning | Accepting | |
| Conscientious | Thoughtful | Steady |
“Hot” people are Active: fast-paced, assertive, dynamic, bold.
“Cold” people are Thoughtful: moderate-paced, calm, methodical, careful.
“Wet” people are Accepting: people-focused, empathizing, receptive, agreeable.
“Dry” people are Questioning: logic-focused, objective, skeptical, challenging.
We would still describe certain personalities as “dry.” But the other terms have fallen out of our language. Now we can use the chart’s modern terms to give clear descriptions to the four styles:
- Dominant: people who naturally question the world around them and interact with it in an active way.
- Influential: people who interact with the world in an active way but instead of questioning it are more accepting of it (including people).
- Steady: people who are accepting of the world but instead of interacting with it in an active way do so in a thoughtful way.
- Conscientious: people who interact with the world in a thoughtful way but question it instead of accepting it.
I’ve included a couple photographs of famous leaders who exhibit the styles. You can see more celebrity quotes here.
But just about every story you’ve ever seen plays out through the interactions of characters that embody the four styles.
Think of sitcoms. There are often four main players in the family, or workplace, or wherever the sitcom is set. If you like that sort of thing, see here for a number of movie examples.
Is it better to be Active or Thoughtful? Accepting or Questioning?
The very questions show how silly such concepts are. All four qualities bring value!
We’ll get into that in a future post. For now, notice how you can quickly understand someone’s style by asking too questions:
Are they fast or slow?
Are they people-oriented or task-oriented?
Once you have your answers, you can take a guess as to if they are a D, I, S or C. And you can fine-tune your approach. We’ll pick that up next time.